September 13, 2011
THIS IS HAPPENING!: Another gathering of the ‘garrulous outraged baffled ghosts’

Sit still little one, Governor Perry wants to give you a poke.

As noted in last night’s edition, The Dark Fields made the executive decision to bypass a first-run viewing of the Republicans’ Tea Party-Sponsored Debatathon, opting instead to watch live the more tame exchanges presented by the National Football League. But now having enjoyed all 112 inglorious minutes of this latest showcase, we can only say, in the spirit of Governor Perry’s cross-eyed defense of his HPV vaccine mandate, “If we had to do over again, we’d uh, done it differently.”

Because wow, this one sure did have a little something for everyone — provided “everyone” comprises the Sutpen family, the monstrous Mississippian brood of Faulkner’s Absalom, Absalom!. It’s only reasonable that one should think of the Bard of Oxford after an event like this, and in particular one pertinent passage from his aforementioned novel on American Decay:

"You knew it all already, had learned, absorbed it already without the medium of speech somehow from having been born and living beside it, with it, as children will and do."

Faulkner, here, paves a certain bedrock of understanding upon which he would go further and build his foremost explanation of Race Hate and its transposition down the generations. He is not, and this is unfortunate for the school girls of today’s Texas, describing how HPV inoculations work.

You see, unlike the antipathies of the Old South, Gardasil is not drifting in the wind for the children to inhale, nor is it a transmutable thing like the voice of an elder, entering the ear in the form of a mechanical wave that will over time sublimate itself into the core of one’s immutable conscience. No, you need to get stuck in the arm for the HPV vaccine to work, and that’s all a bit too primal for the Frontrunner’s emerging bĂȘte noire, the congresswoman from Minnesota, Michele Bachmann.

Bachmann might not have the most diversiform routine, but no matter, last night she played as Wagner in front of the S.S… err, like Bon Jovi before a crowd of people who like Bon Jovi. Her sense of the audience was the best of all the nudniks on stage and she knew just the cut of language for which they ached to applaud. In defense of the “innocent little girls,” Bachmann defamed their vaccinations with words like “force” and “injection” and “executive order” and “violation.” The intonation was clear: Governor Rick Perry had forced himself on their young pink flesh with his engorged needle.

Pity the children, indeed.

***

Winner: The oncologists of America, who with HPV vaccines now firmly in the place of Political Wedge Issue, should be seeing plenty of new cases trundling through their doors.

Loser: As ever, You.

-GJK

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